In a world where pizza reviews and high-stakes sports betting meet, Dave Portnoy, founder of Barstool Sports and everyone’s favorite pizza critic, just did the most Dave Portnoy thing possible: He threw down a casual $100,000 on Caitlin Clark and the Indiana Fever winning the WNBA Finals. You know, no big deal—just enough money to buy a lifetime supply of pizza, or perhaps a small island, depending on the market. And what’s the payout if Portnoy’s fever dream comes true? A cool $10.1 million. That’s right, folks. The man who once argued whether New Haven or New York had better pizza could soon be raking in the kind of cash that only Leonardo DiCaprio’s yacht crew dreams about.
Caitlin Clark: The Comeback Queen (Maybe?)
Let’s set the scene. Caitlin Clark—yeah, that Caitlin Clark, the one who was snubbed harder than Leo was at the Oscars for years—is playing for the Indiana Fever. Clark, who was inexplicably left off Team USA’s Olympic roster (Cheryl Reeve, we’re still scratching our heads over this one), is clearly out for revenge. She’s out to show the world, “Hey, you forgot about me, but I sure didn’t forget about you.”
The Fever had the kind of start to the season that would make even the New York Knicks feel slightly better about themselves. Ten losses in their first 13 games? Yikes. But hold on. Just when everyone thought the Fever’s season was about to be tossed into the deep fryer with the anchovy pizzas (because let’s face it, nobody wants those), they turned it around. Eight wins in their last 13 games before the Olympic break have Indiana Fever fans feeling—dare I say it?—optimistic.
Now, the Fever sit at a modest 11-15, which somehow puts them seventh in the standings. That’s WNBA math for you: win 11 out of 26 games, and you’re still in playoff contention. It’s like being handed a participation trophy and then being told you have a shot at an Olympic gold medal. But hey, at least the top eight make the playoffs, so the Fever just need to hold on like Clark clutching to the idea of WNBA supremacy.
Portnoy’s Big Bet: Genius or Pizza-Induced Delusion?
Let’s be real. Portnoy’s got a lot riding on Clark and the Fever. He’s thrown $100,000 on the line at 100/1 odds. That’s like betting on your buddy who claims he can finish an entire large pizza in five minutes without puking—sounds impossible, but you kind of want to see him try anyway.
If (and that’s a colossal if) Indiana pulls off the miracle of miracles and takes home the WNBA championship, Portnoy walks away with $10.1 million. That’s enough dough to buy a ton of frozen pizzas for all his followers or to just build a life-size statue of Clark made out of mozzarella. Your choice, Dave.
But wait, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The Fever are still seventh in the standings, and while Clark is incredible (we’re still talking about that missed Olympic roster spot), betting on them to win it all is like betting that pineapple pizza will one day be universally accepted. Possible? Sure. Likely? Let’s just say the odds are longer than an all-you-can-eat buffet lasting more than an hour around Portnoy.
What’s Next for Clark and the Fever?
The Fever’s next matchup is against the Phoenix Mercury on August 16. Circle that date on your calendar, because Clark and her underdog squad are ready to bring some heat. Or at least try to avoid getting fried by the Mercury. Either way, it’s bound to be a spicy game.
For now, all we can do is sit back, enjoy a slice of Portnoy’s antics, and see if his $100,000 gamble on Caitlin Clark turns into a goldmine—or just a really expensive reminder that betting on the underdog sometimes leaves you hungry for more than just pizza.
Portnoy’s faith in Clark is undeniable, but will it pay off? Well, crazier things have happened. Like pineapple on pizza—don’t @ me.
