The Americans now boast a 56-game Olympic winning streak, leaving opponents asking, “What’s in their Wheaties?”
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s A’ja Wilson dunking on Japan and celebrating like she just found the last slice of pizza at a frat party. With 24 points from Wilson and a cool 22 from Breanna Stewart, Team USA smashed Japan 102-76 in a showdown that was more lopsided than a seesaw with an elephant on one end.
Gold Diggers of 2024: The U.S. ladies are on a mission to claim their eighth consecutive Olympic gold, making their 56-game winning streak look as easy as microwaving popcorn. Dating back to the 1992 Barcelona Games, this streak is older than TikTok stars and still going strong.
Déjà Vu All Over Again: In a plot twist no one saw coming, the Americans’ last pre-Monday Olympic victory was also against Japan, back in the Tokyo Games. That match ended with a 90-75 U.S. win and marked their seventh straight gold. Fast forward to Paris, and Monday’s victory is already fueling their golden dreams.
Japan, bless their undersized hearts, tried to hustle with a frenetic flurry of 3-pointers, resembling a pack of caffeinated squirrels. For a hot minute—well, 17 minutes—they kept it close, trailing just 37-32 with 3:01 left before halftime. But then, the U.S. decided enough was enough. They ended the half on a 13-6 run, with Wilson making a three-point play that had fans roaring louder than a rock concert.
Third Quarter Thrash: After the break, Chelsea Gray’s magic passing act turned the court into a spectacle. Gray, playing like she had eyes on the back of her head, fed Wilson for easy buckets. Japan’s defense had more holes than Swiss cheese, and the U.S. ran away with the game faster than a kid who heard the ice cream truck.
Maki Takada scored 24 points for Japan, valiantly trying to keep up, while Mai Yamamoto chipped in 17. Japan managed to sink 15 3-pointers, but it felt like they were shooting from another zip code. The Americans, on the other hand, made only four out of 20 attempts from beyond the arc, clearly preferring slam dunks over three-point drama.
Griner’s Grand Return: Brittney Griner, in her first international game since her harrowing stint in a Russian prison, proved she’s still got it. Scoring 11 points and grabbing nine rebounds, Griner looked as comfortable as a cat in a sunbeam. Her journey from a Russian prison cell to the Parisian court is the stuff of Hollywood scripts.
Supporting Cast: Sabrina Ionescu and Kelsey Plum each added 11 points, ensuring the scoreboard was as crowded as a New York subway at rush hour. And let’s not forget Kahleah Copper, who gave fans a scare in the second quarter with a collision that left her holding her side. Copper bounced back in the fourth quarter, proving she’s tougher than a $2 steak.
In other Olympic hoop news, Nigeria pulled off a shocker against Australia, Germany debuted with a win over Belgium, and host France delighted home fans with a victory over Canada.
As the U.S. women march on, one thing is clear: they’re not just chasing gold; they’re creating a dynasty, one slam dunk at a time. Next up, Belgium better brace themselves for the red, white, and blue onslaught. Stay tuned for more hoopla!
