Shaquille O’Neal—yes, the guy who won four NBA championships, starred in movies, made platinum rap albums, and dabbled in law enforcement (yes, you read that right)—is jealous. But not for the reasons you’d think. Nope, it’s not about a killer crossover or a buzzer-beater he missed out on. It’s about something far more important to the LSU alum: a national championship parade.
You see, Shaq, the walking skyscraper and LSU legend from 1989 to 1992, never got to experience the sweet, confetti-filled joyride of a championship parade during his college days. His domination on the court was undeniable, but LSU never snagged that coveted NCAA title while he was there. And now, watching Angel Reese and her LSU teammates ride down victory lane after securing the school’s first-ever NCAA women’s basketball championship in 2023? Well, that has the Big Aristotle a bit… salty.
In a recent episode of his podcast, the always-entertaining O’Neal couldn’t hold back his envy, admitting, “I was jealous.” Yes, the man whose statue should probably stand next to the Statue of Liberty was envious—of Angel Reese’s national title parade. “Looking at all the people, I thought, man, I wish I could have had that moment back in my day,” Shaq lamented, probably while sipping from a gold-plated goblet in his mansion. Because, you know, Shaq.
The Parade LSU Never Threw (For Shaq)
For someone who’s practically won everything except the Nobel Peace Prize (though we wouldn’t be surprised if that’s next), it’s wild to imagine Shaq missing out on anything. But that elusive LSU championship was the one that got away, like a cupcake at a party that someone else swiped first. And now, watching Angel Reese’s squad float through Baton Rouge on a confetti cloud? It stings. Just a little.
But don’t get it twisted—Shaq isn’t just stewing in his own parade-less pity party. He’s been Reese’s number-one hype man, going so far as to call her the greatest athlete to ever come out of LSU. Yes, even greater than himself. “People might get mad, but championships are what define greatness,” Shaq explained, probably knowing full well it would spark some heated debates in LSU barbershops and group chats.
Shaq and Reese: From Friendly Bets to Free-Throw Fails
Though Shaq might be a little green with envy (or is it purple and gold?), his relationship with Angel Reese is nothing short of legendary. Like that time Reese bet Shaq $100,000 that he couldn’t hit a free throw. Spoiler alert: Shaq missed, and now Reese’s bank account is a little lighter. We’re sure she’ll get over it, considering she’s also been breaking WNBA records and making waves like she’s still cruising in that LSU parade float.
In the land of giants, Shaq’s playful jealousy towards Reese is both hilarious and endearing. Sure, he didn’t get his parade, but it’s safe to say that seeing LSU’s new star reach those heights has taken some of the sting away. Reese isn’t just carrying a championship trophy; she’s also carrying the torch for future LSU legends. And Shaq, despite all his dominance and rings, is right there cheering her on.
In the end, the moral of the story is simple: even if you’re a 7-foot-1 basketball legend, you’re never too big to wish you had a parade with your name on it. But hey, at least Shaq still holds the record for most free throws missed in a single podcast bet, right?
What’s Next for Angel Reese?
As for Angel Reese, she’s just getting started. She’s already shattered records (sorry, Candace Parker) and made a case as one of the brightest stars in the WNBA. With Shaq in her corner, both figuratively and literally (that man is always around), her future looks golden—and maybe even parade-filled once more. Just, uh, try not to make Shaq too jealous this time.
After all, you can take the titles, the parades, and the praise, but you can never take away Shaq’s ability to turn even a missed free throw into an epic bet—and Reese is more than happy to collect.