In a candid and emotional reveal, country music singer Sara Evans has opened up about reuniting with her husband Jay Barker nearly two years after he was arrested for allegedly attempting to run her over with his truck following a heated altercation. The surprising reconciliation comes after Evans had filed for divorce from the former NFL quarterback in 2021, citing irreconcilable differences and inappropriate marital conduct.
Evans, known for hits like “Born to Fly” and “Suds in the Bucket,” made the revelation on the debut episode of her new podcast “Diving in Deep with Sara Evans.” With trepidation, she dove into the “question on everybody’s mind” about her relationship status with Barker after the domestic violence incident that made national headlines.
“A lot of women will judge me and want to judge me,” Evans prefaced. “We’re so happy now, but I don’t want anyone to think that I’m advocating staying in a relationship where you are ever, in your gut, you know that you need to exit the situation. Every woman needs to follow her gut on that and do what is best for her. I believe and I hope that I’ve done that.”
The 52-year-old singer recounted the volatile dynamics that had pervaded her 15-year marriage to Barker prior to the 2022 arrest. She described her husband as becoming “addicted to being the boss” of her, calling it “a one-sided, volatile relationship with a lot of passion” in which they were “using abuse.”
The fateful night that led to Barker’s arrest occurred in January 2022 when the couple met up for lunch, but tensions quickly escalated. “He wanted me to be the usual Sara and do whatever he wanted…He got really upset,” Evans recalled.
Later that evening, as Evans attended a bonfire at a neighbor’s house with one of her daughters, Barker persistently texted her “blaming her for breaking up the family.” The situation took an alarming turn when Evans’ daughter witnessed a disturbing verbal altercation between her parents as they arrived home.
“He jumped in his truck, and he [was] sort of backing up at a very high speed,” Evans recounted shakily. “My child thought he was gonna plow our car down, that he was backing up towards our car…She was terrified.”
Evans’ daughter promptly called 911, and Barker fled the scene before being arrested when he returned home. The incident proved traumatizing for the family, leaving Evans feeling “ashamed and stupid.”
“I just felt so ashamed and so stupid, and my child was so mad,” she said. “I was like, ‘I cannot believe this is happening to me and my children again. I’ve lost the love of my life.'”
For months afterward, Evans was certain her marriage was over for good. However, in a surprising turn of events, Barker eventually reached out, and the two slowly began rebuilding their relationship – but not without strict conditions.
“We [agreed to] attend therapy and marriage counseling for the rest of our lives,” Evans revealed. “I just did not want to divorce again and start over. I just pictured myself being alone and missing him and thinking, ‘We could’ve tried harder.’ But it took me filing for divorce, I think, for him to realize, ‘Oh s—, she’s serious. This is it.'”
The decision to reconcile has not been without criticism and skepticism from others. Evans acknowledged, “Every woman needs to follow her gut on that and do what’s best for her” when it comes to exit.
